William Edward ‘Bill’ Alley was an all rounder who played 350 first-class matches for Somerset between 1957 and 1968 (at the age of 49). He was a true legend of Somerset cricket. He was the last player to score over 3,000 first-class runs in a season (in 1961). The article below is written as it might have been in 1961 in the style of charicature articles written of London society individuals in the magazine ‘Vanity Fair’ which was published between 1868 and 1914 .

Unfortunately for William Alley he was born in Australia. And yet, despite this early setback, he became extraordinarily good at cricket, although not before he had honed his skills as a dancehall doorman and boxer. His experience in those occupations doubtless stood him in future good stead when engaging in gentlemanly conversation with Frederick Trueman in response to balls of the short-pitched variety. In this regard, Alley once found a handkerchief particularly useful in demonstrating to Trueman the thickness of material required to act as a thigh pad when facing his bowling.

Alley suffered a serious accident in the Adelaide nets in 1946 when a ball from an adjacent net pierced some damaged netting and fractured his jaw. However, this accident did save him from having to endure a Test Match career with Australia. It was most unfortunate though that it led to further misfortune when he found himself being transported to Lancashire. Barely having arrived, he fell into playing cricket in the Lancashire Leagues. After surviving some years at Colne, he was transferred to Blackpool where it was hoped he might see the light. Alley was not of a character to lay down before misfortune, and immediately became the nemesis of bowlers the length and breadth of Lancashire. Indeed, he illuminated Blackpool with a batting average of 115.

For all his runs, Alley’s greatest desire was to play cricket in the eternal, verdant and sunlit pastures of Paradise. And so it was, in 1957, that he was tempted to that Paradise on earth that is Somersetshire. Somersetshire was a county then so renowned for its strength that it had held up the entire County Championship table in four of the preceding five seasons. Within a season of Alley’s arrival, Somersetshire found themselves suffering the sudden disorientation of finishing in third position. This disconcerting episode was soon overcome however, for within two seasons they had settled back to the warm familiarity of fourteenth place.

In this year of grace 1961, William Edward Alley achieved a feat unique in the incomparable history of Somersetshire cricket. He scored over 3,000 runs in one season. At the height of his glory, he scored over 700 runs without once being out. According to Alley’s own impeccably independent account, that number would have been immeasurably higher but for an umpire who inexplicably gave him out at the end of a run when his bat was several yards past the crease. Indeed, he is believed to have used the term ‘miles’ rather than yards. He scored eleven centuries in this season, a figure which would undoubtedly also have been higher but for the continued intervention of umpires without opticianry access.

Alley is a left-handed batsman of singular technique, playing largely through the leg side, although a cover drive of perfection might occasionally be eschewed to sow confusion among the opposition. When at his best he might assist the bowler through advice on field placings, although the re-positioned fielder might discover the ball flying some distance above his head as it travels to the boundary. Alley is an exceptional fielder in the gully where he is believed never to have dropped a catch. As a bowler, he would doubtless express the opinion that he would have taken considerably more wickets had it not been for those same umpires who denied him so many runs also denying him leg before wicket decisions from balls which self-evidently, in his indisputable judgement, would have hit the stumps.

It is devoutly to be hoped that Alley will continue to grace the cricket fields of England for many years to come. Indeed, it is unlikely he will ever stop playing cricket. However, his future can be considered doubly secure, for even if misfortune strikes again and he be forced from the field of play, it is fully to be expected that he will gather together some chickens, become a Test Match umpire and take the opportunity to shoot rabbits, as he once dismissed batsmen, at his leisure